Okay, so I returned home after my conference at the center that was so ‘off the grid’ that the only way to contact the outside world was by using a Smartphone!  And, what do you think I did?  As I drove into my town from Vegas, I went straight to AT&T' without passing go,' without going home and unloading my luggage, without checking the mail, or even getting a cup of tea! My first stop was AT&T to have my iPhone 7 turned back on...

I walked into the store and the manager (the one I wrote about in my first post on this topic) said, “Renee, I told you! I knew you’d be back. You want your iPhone turned back on, right?”

“Yep,” I replied!  “But, I lasted 2 weeks!”

“That’s longer than I thought,” she said. “I was sure you’d be in the next day!”

She read my first post, chuckling throughout. Then, my iPhone 7 was quickly and easily switched back on. My cute little flip phone sat on the table in the store looking woeful and lost. Extremely compact, light, and willing to do what it could do, but not up to the demands of ‘off the grid’ places in the universe. I brought it home and put it back in its box – telling it how grateful I was that it let me conduct this experiment, thankful for its usefulness and it progressiveness in a day and age when hand held mobile devices were just being developed. I whispered what I had believed, “If it’s good enough for Captain Kirk, it’s good enough for me.” I wanted it to know that is has a legendary history, and that it had a key role in setting the stage for the technology that people like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates would create.

I learned much about myself during this experiment – not the least of which is that I need to question myself about those things in life that claim me – that keep me bound or unaware of other important things in my life. By taking the plunge and switching back to a flip phone, I saw habits and patterns in my life that I would never have even noticed had I gone on without questioning and experimenting.

So, did I fail? Perhaps. I failed in going backwards to a technology that won’t work for the demands of my current life. But, I succeeded in that I questioned and I tried. And, isn’t that all we can ask of ourselves?

I'm still at the conference center with no cell service, using my 'turned off' iPhone.  I can't send texts, and I can't make calls unless I use Skype or What's App.  It was incredibly frustrating the first couple of days here -- perhaps, even more frustrating than when I went in to the AT&T store with my big news that I was switching back to a flip phone! I was excited about the experiment and took all the challenges in stride because I was trying something new and was expecting frustration.  But, when I arrived at the center and realized how difficult communication was going to be, I wasn't a very happy camper!

As the time has passed, however, I have become less anxious and unhappy.  Not because I am adapting so well to the situation, but because I am too busy to  be on the phone at all!  This has led to the realization that perhaps we have become habituated to pulling out our smartphones because we are not fully engaged with what is going on right in front of us. Think of being in a movie theater, for example.  After the endless 'trailers' to the feature movie, there's always the screen that comes up instructing everyone to turn off their cellphones.  That has always slightly irritated me, even though I understand the reason for it.  Once the movie has begun, however, I am so totally engrossed in the story, the plot, the action, the sound and the images.  I never even think about taking out my cellphone.  How crazy it would be to break my concentration on the movie by starting to scroll through email on my iPhone! For the time of the movie, I am in a space of timelessness -- fully engaged in what is going on in front of me.

I wonder how things might change if we were able to engage life like that every moment. It  It seems to me that we might being more single-focused.  When eating, we would eat.  When walking, we would walk.  When we needed to talk on the phone, we'd talk on the phone.  And, I think we would be less tempted to mindlessly pull out a smartphone every time we were also doing something else.  So, perhaps, the real problem isn't my iPhone, but my lack of mindfulness.

eOf course, it's absolutely true that many of the things I did on my iPhone can still be done as long as I have a Wi-Fi connection.  It functions almost exactly like my iPad, yet it's more compact. What I realized as I traveled yesterday is that I still need to be very careful about thinking of it in these terms, however, because I could very quickly revert to my old defaults -- things like immediately picking up my iPhone if the conversation lags, or if I'm bored or uncomfortable. I might just pick it up and play a game of solitaire or search the Internet or read a Kindle book, or write a three paragraph text.  I don't actually pull out my iPad with the same frequency as my iPhone again because of its size and weight.  I also always have my iPhone actually on my person.  It would be very odd indeed to do that with my iPad! With the ever increasing dimensions of smartphones, however, it may not be long before our phones are as large as our iPads. Nonetheless, I am very aware of the seductive nature of having the iPhone too close within my range.

I got into an elevator at my hotel in Vegas night before last.  I had a momentary flash of insight as the elevator doors were closing that my iPhone is a coping mechanism because I'm an introvert.  Sometimes, like on elevators, I don't really want to encounter and talk to people I don't know -- especially extroverts who think everyone wants to talk to them! To avoid this unpleasantness, I almost always pull out my iPhone the moment I step on an elevator.  I don't talk or look at anyone, and it doesn't seem as rude to me as just staring into their faces but not speaking.  Unfortunately, I didn't have my iPhone with me so I couldn't pull it out.  And really, it's a tad ridiculous to pull out a flip phone and stand there staring at it.  So, I pushed outside my comfort zone and connected with someone who was stepping into the elevator.  We cracked a joke together and laughed for 6 floors.  I think I could have had dinner with he and his partner afterward.

But, here's an interesting thing.  When I arrived at the very remote conference center where I will be for the next week, the young woman at the desk who checked our group in said that cell phone access is very limited. She suggested that we go into our Settings on our smartphone and set up Wi-Fi calling in order to make calls. I looked at her and said, "What if I'm using a flip phone?" She was a bit aghast, and after collecting herself and thinking about it for a moment, she replied, "You won't be able to make calls. If you need to call anyone, come here to the office and we'll call out for you using our office phone!" Yes, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, and all others who have worked on cell phone technology, have completely shifted the paradigm.  In this experiment of separating from my iPhone 7, I am trying to get off the grid.  Yet, I come to a conference center that is off the grid and they tell me I must have a smartphone to be 'connected' with the outside world!

So, I'm left wondering: Do we really need electronic coping mechanisms, or smartphones for areas without cell access, or can we find ways to connect that don't feel invasive or overwhelming?  Ways that might even lead us to a new experience we might never have had if we had just quickly buried our nose into a scrolling screen of photos and texts, brought to us by the familiar marketers who shall remain nameless in this post...

Today was a watershed moment because I was leaving for a trip, and the thought of traveling without my iPhone nearly paralyzed me.  I realized that this would be the first time that I would be on a trip without it. So I wondered how I would deal with the Uber scheduling, how I would check-in for my flights, how I would keep track of my expenses, how I would share photos in social conversation, or even take photos, for that matter! My flip phone has a camera, but it isn't useful for the kinds of things I need the camera to do -- things like scanning documents! And, would I now have to go back to the primitive idea of printing my boarding pass rather than using the boarding pass on my iPhone? Yikes!

Before I even left the house, however, I had to decide whether to take my iPhone or my iPad since they now work about the same. I decided on the iPhone because it's smaller and lighter and I'm a very light traveler. (Well, except for all my devices and cords, that is)! One goal I have is to get down to just two devices -- a laptop/tablet and a phone.  My Microsoft Surface Pro actually is made to function as both a tablet and a laptop, so I really don't need it, and an iPad, and an iPhone, and a flip phone!  But, gosh, each one does something the others don't do, so I feel I need them all!

I started down the highway driving my regular 3 hour route to Las Vegas to get to the airport.  Before I had even gotten out of my little town, I suddenly had an urge, which I now realize was a withdrawal symptom. I just wanted my iPhone back. I didn't want to have to struggle anymore trying to make accommodations to a flip phone.  I had suddenly forgotten all the reasons for engaging in this experiment.  I just wanted to have what was comfortable and natural to me --- my iPhone 7!!  I even wondered how I would occupy myself for the 3 hour drive to Vegas. After all, I was going to stop in Searchlight, NV for lunch -- a small 2 casino/1 post office kind of town -- and if there was nothing I could do on my phone I would have to just eat lunch!! And another thing, I wouldn't be able to listen to what music I do have on my iPhone -- I would be stuck with only one CD for the entire trip. Since I was already partly out of town, I knew it would not be in my best interest to go back to my regular AT&T authorized dealer. So, I said to myself, "I'm sure they have an AT&T authorized dealer in Needles, CA. I can just stop there and tell them to switch everything back to the way it was."

After these moments of darting back and forth in my mind and feeling like a trapped animal, I took a scan of the landscape and I remembered. I remembered when I used to drive these highways long before the thought of a iPhone (or any cellphone) had ever germinated in the mind of Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.  I traveled 200 miles every Sunday on these roads with no phone at all -- nothing but my hitchhiking thumb if I broke down or needed help. And, I certainly had no device to 'occupy myself.' What there was on those drives was the beautiful desert landscape and my own big, broad thoughts that spanned across the desert horizon. I saw rocks and sand, the moon hanging in the sky, the heat warping the pavement, the mountains stolid and sure, the sky as immense as heaven.  I sang, and prayed, and dreamt up new plans and ideas. When I remembered all of this, I felt a sense of calm descending on me.  I wondered to myself, if maybe, I could do that today instead of needing some external electronic device to keep me company.

So, I soldiered on past Needles, had a quiet lunch in Searchlight, and headed to Vegas -- draped in the holy landscape that feeds my soul.

Well, I made it for 24 hours and through the night. This might not seem an achievement, but I've moved heaven and earth to replace a lost or damaged iPhone on the same day that it was lost or damaged!  So, for me, nearly 36 hours is quite a feat!

Those few people I have actually talked to about this new adventure have expressed either curiosity or disbelief. So let me begin this post by talking a little about what made me take this step. I have noticed the addictive nature of phones as well as their potential for connecting people, long before cell phones had been invented. I am an introvert, but I've always talked on the phone. Before cellphones, I had long distance phone bills that would make your jaw drop. Because I've always traveled, I was ecstatic when phone cards came into existence. I just kept re-loading them in the same way I now re-load my Starbucks card -- only I re-loaded with a great deal more cash than I regularly put on my Starbucks card.  It was how I was able to stay in touch when I was constantly moving. Yet, I also remember how my beloved mother would feel 'left out' when I came to visit her because I was always punching all my phone card numbers into the phone in order to talk to people.  I realized way back then that the phone actually kept me from being fully attentive to the person right in front of me that I loved more than life itself.  Still, it didn't make me change my habits.  I would just say to her, "I'll be off in a minute, mom!" That scenario has been exponentially increased since cell phone usage became normative. And, the increase has multiplied, again exponentially, with the advent of smartphones. The very technology that makes it possible to connect us globally anytime,day or night, and has contributed to the development and sustenance of countless relationships, is the same technology that has the capacity to distance us from the very ones across the table from us.

In 2011 Time magazine reported that Steve Jobs said, ""You know, everybody has a cell phone, but I don't know one person who likes their cell phone. I want to make a phone that people love." I think that's part of my desire for this adventure of giving up my iPhone 7 and choosing a flip phone. I think Steve Jobs did exactly what he wanted to do, and I (along with millions of other people) may just love our phone too much. 

Steve Jobs was also absolutely right about the truth that no one likes their cell phone. This is one emotion I noticed unfolding during the last 36 hours.  In free moments, I'm always tempted to pick up my iPhone because there's so much I can do on it, so much I can find out, so much that will occupy me. Well, I was sitting in a chair, and was for a moment, bored.  (I know, hard to imagine me being bored)! Usually, in such a situation, I would just open up my iPhone.  But, I now have a flip phone.  So, I looked across to my desk and saw my cute, little, black LG flip phone sitting next to my laptop.  You know what?  I wasn't even, for one moment, tempted to get up out of the chair and grab that flip phone to wile away the minutes.  I mean, what excitement can there be with a flip phone?  Clicking 15 times to get three words onto a text message? No, there's just not much allure to a flip phone.  The best they offer (other than being able to talk to people) is how they feel in your hand, and that they actually fit in a woman's pocket -- in fact, even in the coin pocket of a pair of yoga pants! So, I noticed I was bored, but did not have any desire to play with my flip phone.  Instead, I picked up a book and began reading.  Hmmm....

More later...Stay tuned!

Yes, for real! I'm a hard core iPhone user.  The kind of hard core iPhone user that sleeps with it under her pillow, has it with her in the bathroom, car, kitchen, purse, etc.  When I had two iPhones at once, I managed to do everything listed above with two of them rather than one! I don't use the iPhone for much of what is attractive to the rest of the world -- things like surfing the Internet, listening to music, or streaming video.  I use it to work -- it functions like an iPad 'mini-mini.' I have a regular iPad mini, but it mostly stays in a drawer. My iPhone, however, is my mind, my second limb, my constant companion.  I use it for Word and Excel.  I work on my Dropbox folders and files.  I do my extensive email and texts. I use it to get my Uber cars, do online banking, record on my Notepad.  (I actually have 936 notes on my Notepad.  That's not counting all my data in OneNote!) I use it for a teleprompt,  I record my calories in MyFitnessPal, check my meager steps on the Health app, shop on Amazon, meditate with Insight Timer, read from my Kindle. I don't have many games -- only one I've purchased -- well, and Pokemon Go.  I have two children in my parish, West and Milner, who love to play Pokemon Go when I'm in Marianna, AR.  When I'm really bored, I play Solitaire.  I don't have anything against video games.  I actually have a gaming site, a gaming name:  Mari-Noobs, and I play Call of Duty Black Opps II in a livestream on Twitch. I just don't do much gaming on my phone.  I work on my phone.

I purchased my new iPhone 7 less than a month ago. It was my 7th iPhone, I think.  I really wanted a 'flip phone,' but what in the world can you do with a 'flip phone' these days? Just to show you how much I subconsciously wanted a 'flip phone,' I actually dreamt a few weeks ago that Apple had just released a new product.  It was an iPhone flip phone!  It was hot pink and had 'iPhone' written across the front.  I loved it!!! Unfortunately, I woke up -- and there was no new release!

So, last night, 25 minutes before my little AT&T Authorized Dealer store closed, I decided to give up my iPhone 7 and get a flip phone.  The manager who now knows me, thought I was coming in because I had a problem with my new iPhone 7.  I said, "Oh, no, I want a flip phone."  She couldn't believe her ears. She suggested I go to Walgreen's and purchase a $25.00 LG flip phone and rush back before closing time, so she could program it for me.  She reasoned that I would only lose $25.00 that way, since I would certainly not really want a flip phone!  She must have concluded I was delusional and she was trying to save me from myself. Well, off I went. I was back at AT&T in less than 10 minutes with my new LG flip phone. I handed it to her and she began working her magic. She kept saying, "Renee, you're going to hate this!  You'll be back tomorrow.  Why are you doing this?  I'm feeling my stomach drop -- I'm beginning to feel nauseous!"  If she was feeling like that, imagine how I felt!

It's been 13 hours and I'm still alive and breathing.  I'm still able to communicate, and I've worked all day.  I have noticed some interesting emotions, however.  I'm trying to keep a written record of some of those emotions and I plan to blog about them as the days unfold. (Remember I can't type it on my iPhone Notepad any longer - so I'm back to pen and paper). I want to share what led me to take this rather drastic step and how I'm faring as I go along.  Who knows?  Maybe some of you will join me on this new adventure!! 

So check back soon for updates -- not a download update from Apple -- an update of my life without my iPhone 7. Just as a teaser, I will tell you that I went out to breakfast at a local restaurant this morning. I was REALLY embarrassed to pull out my new 'flip phone.' Scary...