
The standard response is that we stay stuck in unhealthy patterns either because we just don't want to do the hard work of changing, or because we fear change more than the misery that has become so comfortable to us. While either of those responses may be true, I have the feeling that it is even more basic. I think it is just that we don't know how to let go. In trying to avoid the pain of loss, we cast about looking for a way that will minimize the sadness of letting go – that will minimize the scratchy desire that letting go leaves behind. When we can't seem to identify a way to do that, Sara McLachlan's words ring true, “I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go.” In just that moment of recognition, we can be surprised to find that heaven opens a window and rains down a shower of tenderness. We just might feel a blanket of courage floating down over us and we just might take the first step toward that edge of letting go.